​Exclusive – Nehha Pendse: Bearing a child is a very big responsibility so I’ve frozen my eggs; ‘mujhe maa toh banna hai lekin abhi nahi’

Nehha Pendse recently returned to television after a hiatus with May I Come In Madam season 2. The actress, who last seen in Bhabi Ji Ghar Par Hai had quit the show and made a comeback with her most loved character of Madam Sanjana. Nehha recently joined ETimes TV for an exclusive interview where she spoke about her comeback, the pressure of recreating the success of the show and more. She also opened up about her married life, freezing her eggs after marriage and getting recognition for her glamourous avatar more than her acting. (Photo: Instagram)

​On coming back with May I Come In Madam season 2

Honestly, it felt like we had gone on a nice vacation and we came back to sets. Everything was just the same. The harmony, the synchronisation, everything was just the same. It was a beautiful experience and honestly we all are having a blast. (Photo: Instagram)


​No pressure of recreating the success

I don’t take pressure at all. In fact I feel there is a beauty in ease, there is a simplicity in ease and simplicity and ease are the toughest things to achieve. If you are centered, grounded enough, you only appreciate and have gratitude about the fact that you have been given this opportunity yet another time. Just be as honest with your work as you were in the fist season and leave the rest to God and the almighty. (Photo: Instagram)

​I said yes because this show has given me the most popularity that I’ve achieved in my career

I’ve predominantly been a television artist and May I Come In Madam? Season 2, I said yes because this show has given me the most popularity that I’ve achieved in my career so far. I believe we were off air for five years in between but people still remembered me and called me Madam and I had no reason to not go back to a show that has given me a beautiful identity and love in people’s heart. It was a no-brainer that I’d go back to the show. I’m glad the second season just happened and we are going to have a blast. (Photo: Instagram)

​Does it affect you when people give more importance to your glamourous side than the acting part?

People perceive me as beautiful and with all humbleness I accept that I’m beautiful. And with beauty, glamorous things are associated. If I’m beautiful then why should I try to add some other element to it. If you ask a strong actress to look glamorous it won’t be possible to achieve, because she has been perceive in such a way. There are few actors who can achieve both look glamourous yet be appreciated for their acting. Similarly, there are very few serious actresses who can go beyond and look glamourous. I’m not saying that it shouldn’t be attempted. But you should also appreciate how people are perceiving me. And if people are finding me glamorous and beautiful it is a kind of strength for me. How can it be a weakness? Yes, it is true that sometimes I feel that people have perceived me as beautiful but it would be great if they can see me as an actress also. Toh mazaa aajaye and it is not that I’m not trying for it. But I’m very happy where I’m and I better be happy because at least I’m somewhere. (Photo: Instagram)

​On married life – I can safely say that I’m settled in my marriage and now can concentrate on my work

It was a very necessary period because I was not in a relationship per say till the time I got married. I was in one relationship that was an overseas one. That I did not get time to spend time with him physically there with him as it was a long distance. This was the first time I actually fell in love with a man, got married to him and now we are staying together. I got to explore a lot of things, one is the man-woman dynamic which I haven’t explored much in my life. I realised this very late in my life and after marriage. I had to bring changes in myself. I was leading the life of a girl who is a very strong headed person. I had to change myself. These changes can’t be brought overnight. It was a slow process. The pandemic and my acclimatisation with my marriage was going hand-in-hand and it was a necessary change and it happened beautifully. I can safely say that I’m settled in my marriage and now can concentrate on my work. (Photo: Instagram)

​I feel marriage is more important for a woman than a man

Relationship changes the moment it becomes legalised. Dynamics changes from couple to couple. Not everyone’s journey is the same. Sometimes husbands change, sometimes wives bring in some changes. There are many external changes and it is like getting married to a completely new person. It is a very sensitive and beautiful phase of a marriage. It is very important to give time to a woman during that phase. I feel marriage is more important for a woman than a man. I feel women are made that way. (Photo: Instagram)


​If you don’t need that validation don’t get married but I needed it

We are in a patriarchal society and we must never forget that as much as we want to promote Naari Shakti and want all of that to happen, the sad reality is we are in a patriarchal society. Also, chemically and biologically how we are made (woman). I know a lot of women including myself because inspite of having every possible thing like stability, money, car, name, fame but who do I share it with? We as women need that stamp of being married more than a man. If you don’t need that validation don’t get married but I needed it. (Photo: Instagram)

​Things changed in the 30s as life happened

If you are strong enough to not have that validation then you should not even get married. When I was in my 20s I was also about Naari Shakti, bringing about change in the society and all of that. But things changed in the 30s as life happened. As you start growing old, the will to fight over everything starts dying down. You find peace in the power of giving in. It is a beautiful thing and only a woman can do it. You don’t give up, but you start giving in. (Photo: Instagram)

​Nobody forced me to get married and it was my urge to belong to someone

Nobody forced me to get married and it was my urge to belong to someone. You can call it conditioning, biology or any other thing. I realised that always having this feminist attitude is not helping me and I’m offending guys more than they like me. I had the toughest time finding love. You just called me beautiful, glamourous but majal hai Ek aadmi aake Mujhse pyaar ki baatein kare… Meri soch sunkar… men get intimidated that she is beautiful, comes from a good family, earns well and is self dependent and do you think a man would like a woman like that? When life teaches you rules you start feeling something is wrong. I need to step back and evaluate myself because of inspite of achieving everything, I’m not happy. (Photo: Instagram)

​After marriage around a year or two later I started having the maternal instinct

I never had the maternal instinct for the longest time. After marriage around a year or two later I started having that maternal instinct and wanted to be a mother. I was not able to understand that a girl who never wanted to be a mother is now suddenly having this feeling. Initially, I thought it was a passing phase, let’s sit on the thought for a while because bearing a child is a very big responsibility for life. (Photo: Instagram)

​I went ahead and froze my eggs

I sat on the thought for 8 months and then I felt no this thought is not what I want right now. So then I went ahead and froze my eggs. Mujhe maa toh banna hai lekin Abhi nahi banna hai… I felt something was stopping me from having a child right now and my husband told me let’s freeze eggs. Shayad main banoo shayad nahi, because I also have insecurity inside me. I don’t want to be dependent on anyone ever. I don’t want to give my financial dependency to anyone. I don’t consider myself a superwoman who can work, look after the house and I don’t have that energy. (Photo: Instagram)