The old adage that few things are stronger than a mother’s love holds true for one mom who is trying to help her kids become healthier versions of themselves.
However, her efforts are being thwarted by her husband, who doesn’t see the need for their children to eat healthier foods — and may just be abusive. The mother reached out for advice on Reddit to determine what her next steps should be.
One mom is trying to help her kids lose weight, but worries that her husband is working against her.
The mom, who took to the “True Off My Chest” subreddit to post anonymously, explained that the situation is extra personal for her. She wrote, “I was ‘the fat kid,’ bullied relentlessly, and later developed a horrific [eating disorder] that ended in an involuntary hospitalization.”
After dealing with the aftermath of an unhealthy relationship with food and body image, this mom understandably doesn’t want to watch her own children go through the same thing.
She explained that in recent years, her two kids have gained enough weight to be “considered obese,” and have “opened up about being bullied for their weight.” So, she has doubled down on her efforts to help them eat healthier. The only problem is her husband.
“My husband has always had a fast metabolism and been able to eat whatever, and was extremely food insecure as a child and I know that affected him immensely,” she said. “He has always hated healthier stuff, calling it ‘rabbit food.’ He likes cheese and butter and high fat everything, and [because] he works a physical job he is able to eat massive amounts without consequences.”
It would be one thing if the dad was setting a bad example for his children with his eating habits, but he has taken it even further. He is apparently unable to understand why his wife would want to change their kids’ eating patterns and seems to be actively working against her.
According to the mom, “He always asks them if they want seconds, adds bacon bits and shredded cheese to their plates after I fix them, etc.”
To make matters worse, her husband seems to be gaslighting her in the midst of all this. “He says it’s just ‘baby fat’ and they’ll ‘grow out of it,’ and sometimes suggests my [eating disorder] must be clouding my perception a bit,” the person wrote.
The husband is doing more than just stopping his wife from feeding their kids healthy foods.
As if sabotaging his wife’s efforts to help her children lead happier, healthier lives wasn’t bad enough, the problems in this family run much deeper than that.
Other Reddit users offered a reality check, pointing out that the woman had previously posted in domestic violence subreddits.
“You have so many more problems than him giving your obese kids junk food,” one person commented. “If that’s not direct sabotage and full-on child abuse, I don’t even know what is anymore,” another chimed in.
From threats of serious physical harm to actually threatening her life, her safety and the safety of her kids could definitely be at risk. Obviously, we only have a snippet of what this woman has shared of her life on Reddit, but it’s clear that her relationship with her husband is posing a risk to her children.
In a study from 2018, researchers found a direct correlation between children who grow up in homes with abusive parents and obesity. It’s clear that these kids are struggling, and their physical health could be a direct result of the trauma they experience in the home.
The best thing this mom could do, for her and her children’s sake, is to put their safety first.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence or the threat of domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or go to www.thehotline.org.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer for YourTango who covers entertainment, news and human interest topics.