Sending a voice note in a conversation is 48% more likely to lead to a date, according to recent Hinge data. More than two-thirds, 65%, of daters believe hearing someone’s voice helps them determine their interest.
“There is a personality that comes across in a way that you can’t capture with a photo or text,” says Moe Ari Brown, a therapist and Hinge’s love and connection expert. “It’s alive. It’s not static.”
For younger generations who are less accustomed to phone calls, a voice memo is a good step toward feeling like “you’re no longer talking to a nebulous entity,” Brown says.
Leaving a voice note for someone you haven’t met yet can feel awkward, though. Many of us cringe at the sound of our own voice, which can make it hard to know exactly how we are coming off to other people.
If you feel uncomfortable leaving voice notes, here are some tips that can help you at least sound more congenial.
Research suggests that a significant part of how we interpret what someone says is through their tone, says Preston Ni, a communication coach and author of “7 Keys to Long-Term Relationship Success.”
“Often, it’s not what you say, but how you say it that influences attraction, attention, persuasion, and respect,” he says. “Generally, an appealing voice is one that sounds confident, positive, and engaging.”
If you want to court a person you match with on a dating app, try smiling when you’re talking, Ni says: “Smiling naturally while speaking can often impart a warmer tone of voice.”
Smiling naturally while speaking can often impart a warmer tone of voice.
Though they can’t see you, it good to be animated. “Using gestures naturally can enhance the confidence of your voice,” he says.
It also helps to treat your match like a person you already hold some affection for, Brown says: “I like to encourage people to pretend you’re talking to someone you already love.”
And try to capture your laugh: “Intentionally laugh on your voice note. Hearing your laugh can be comforting and connecting.”
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